‘laila kalau kau boleh describe how was your 2015 kan, on scale of 1 to 10 berapa kau bagi?’
atiq and i were waiting for our food when she suddenly blurted to me this question. truthfully, its not like 2015 is a bad year to me…..it just that for me 2015 was nothing but plain. I dont feel tortured nor happy, to me it is basically one of those ‘year’.
However, 2015 had made me realized about simple yet important things, like how lucky am i to still be alive, healthy and have a bunch of amazing people (friends & family) around me. It is a year where i reflect myself a lot.
2015 is 3 instead of 4 because if i could turn back time, i wish i had accomplished something to be remembered and treasured just for my self-satisfaction.
p/s: i wish i have at least one photo of myself in 2015 that i like the most.
it all started when atiq came back from one of her meetings (i dont remember which one and if im not mistaken she went to two meetings) and start to ask me various weird questions which later she told me it was a personality psychology test.
so the past few days were basically revolved around the question ‘Which animal are u? what animal is your partner?’ and we went OOOH or AHHHH to the answers. after few days passed atiq (again) was curious and asked me weird things
atiq: laila what type of animal do u see me as?
me: honestly, i dont know how to view people as an animal atiq, hahahahha
atiq: ok ok, imagine we are actually animals living in amazon, you and me both are animals so what do you see me as?
it was 2:30 AM guys,… nevertheless, as a good friend and a supportive roommate i answered her question and start to elaborate the details to why i chose that animal.
to conclude this post; according to the personality psychology test i am a crocodile and my partner is a tiger. lol?
i think the main reason of why i love it so much to be back in Alor Setar is probably knowing that i’ll be seeing familiar faces that i treasure the most. the feeling of everything is just nice theres no need to explain what u like and what’s not. it calms me a lot. im an introvert and i dont open up to people easily. if i do feel like opening up…well soon they’ll discover that i have few rules in my life that sometimes it doesnt make any sense but to keep me sane they’ll need to give in (thank u to all my asasi and uni’s friends) . fyi, i also abide to other people’s life rules.
within one week here, i had a little meet up met benei, anum and nadsyam!! it was really nice (i met benei more than twice this week hahaha ) i wanted to fill this blog with bits of what i love, thus here are pictures of us roaming around the brand new aman central lol.
a successful lipstick hunting with nadsyam!
all of us were amazed by how ‘maju’ alor setar is now.
hello guys, the most anticipated week is here!!!! mid-semester break is that you? im back in Alor Setar!!!! (too much exclamation marks im sorry) IM SO HAPPY TO BE BACK HERE!
the past two weeks were have been really hard on me, i was on the verge to cry so many times, and my mind was thinking of home all the time. Too much pressure that i need tocope with but alhamdulillah everything works out according to the plan.
i realised that i only have the mood to update my blog only when im back in alor setar, dont ask me why cause even i dont know why……i guess the sense of familiarity and belonging kut. hahahahahahahahah
last but not least, here’s a picture of yours truly who is so happy to be back home. BYEEEEE
If we talk about regrets of course theres a lot of things to list down, and theres a lot of things needed to be told. You cant just say ‘oh i regret that i didnt buy that scarf’ and full stop. It doesnt work that way, you have to elaborate and such, and sometimes theres a story behind of it.
2-3 am are the time where i usually start to visualise unrealistic things, like what would happen if i actually choose that instead of this, if i put extra effort maybe the outcomes will be more nicer and etc. my regrets are usually nothing related to my spending habits lol, (i guess im still childish) but its usually related to my academic performances, be it high school, foundation nor degree. Theres always somethings that bothers me or haunts me up until now.
I can rants all of my regrets and still wont be able to do anytg about it, because past is past it cant be changed and it is done. I read this one blog whereby the writer encouraged the readers to apply the method of ‘forgiving yourself’. I rarely forgive myself (truthfully) and i dont know why. But as im getting older i realised sometimes there are nothing you can do about things that has been done. Forgive yourself and carry on, move on or let it go is the only thing left to do.
Those unnecessary feelings are there to help you from making the same mistakes but if you cant control, it will haunts you and influenced your mind to be negative, simply put you can call it devil thoughts. And yup, that devil thoughts had been influencing my life for the past few years unknowingly (it had affected my life extremely last year) T_T
It wont be easy, it will take some time, but i do believe that one should forgive themselves about the things that had happened. So that there wont be same old shit you’ll be thinking at 2-3 am. You need to forgive yourself in order to experience new challenge in life and also to help you focus on improving yourself. You can do it !
i dont want this to end, someone please help me. this semester break is definitely the right thing, everything is exactly how i imagined it to be (laughs) although i was hoping to visit singapore but my dad is extremely busy thus this plan has to be postponed, again… nevertheless everything else is perfect! since the second semester is approaching i did some thinking about my goals for second semester. hmmmmm for now i have two
i want to get an all A transcript (A-,A, A+ i dont mind at all as long as its ALL AAAAAAA)
I am definitely going to find someone who can be my partner in crime (laughs) all those bromance anime got me wanting to have someone to do weird shit together with me
i’d probably update my blog before i go back to miat, uhh the idea of going back is already making me unease…. anyway wish me luck!
Upon reading this post you might realised how pathetic i am at times. Especially when im in my fangirl mode. Tbh, i dont know why im like this, i got really emotionally attached with boys that doesnt even exist. Im not like this when im with real boys. I act completely normal when im around real boys. But honey, when i found out about these fictional characters i got really obsessed and attached to them. Usually characters from books but lately ive been really into anime (whispers haikyuu) (￣◇￣;)
I do wish that these characters actually exist. So that i could hug them? Lol I mean loving them like this is pathetic and it is even worse that i cant get them out of my head these past few weeks. I wonder how does anybody else live their life without having to go through this fangirl phase? Hmmmmmm